Dear Charlotte: How do I give a prostate massage?

Dear Charlotte,

My boyfriend wants to try prostate massage but I dont know what you’re supposed to do?

I don’t want him to go see someone else for this but I don’t know what I should be doing, can you help?

Love Rachel

Hi Rachel,

Thank you for getting in touch with me.

So what’s the fuss about prostate massages?

The prostate is a walnut-sized gland located between the bladder and the penis. The prostate is just in front of the rectum.

When massaged properly, many men experience intense, long-lasting, even multiple, orgasms and intense ejaculations.

It’s time for men to stop envying women for their ability to experience intense, long-lasting orgasms, and start enjoying

The prostate (sometimes called the P-Spot) is the male version of the female G-spot, and when stimulated enables even more ( up to 33% more)  intense orgasms.

But the thought of playing with a guys ass can sometimes be daunting, especially as we know what can come out of it!

So make sure you’ve got these essential tools at hands to give a great prostate massage.

Tool No1


You will need some good lube, a silicone lube is probably best for this as water based lubes will dry and get lost in a guys ass due too the amount of hair surrounding that area. (The Ass Jungle)

Silicone lube with aid to their gliding effect of your finger or toys going in and out of his ass with ease, and is condom friendly

Never use a numbing lube as this can be dangerous! You could be jabbing away at his rectum and he might not feel a tear if the area is numb, plus where’s his sensation for pleasure if he cant feel it? – Nothing Numbing, Tingle, or Heat is advised!!!

Tool No2


Condom’s are great for your fingers for the warm up, but there is something you must remember, a very important point! It’s about POO, YES POO!

Now we’re talking shit!

Poo comes out of your bottom, male, or, female it will still come out, and, there is a chance that some poo will come out of the bottom that you have put your finger up. (you can also use gloves if you have them, but this can take the sensitivity away, but the choice is yours)

Don’t be repulsed by it as we are only human at the end of day, but condoms are brilliant for stopping poo from getting caught up in your nail/s and on your skin, but you will also need one more vital tool!

Tool No3


Baby wipes are for easy cleaning, and if playing down there you will most likely need them.

Just remember to have baby wipes next to you for when you take the condom off your finger (by turning it slowly inside out to avoid contact), also wipe the condom residue off your fingers with the wipes as it could mark the bed lining

Last and final tool

Tool No4


This is entirely up to you, and/or your partner

Do you have a Prostate toy? Or just a dildo?

Do you want your vaginal dildo going up your boyfriends ass? No, then make sure you have a toy that’s separately used for him


So lets get to it…

Prostate massage is easy when you know what you are searching for.

So to be able to find his prostate gland, you both need to be in position and nice and relaxed.

It’s best to try this with your guy lying on his back and you sat between his legs, make sure he is well lubed (This is vital)

If you are using the condom make sure you have it on your index finger to start, if you are right handed sit slightly to your left when using your finger as you will need to be inline with your arm going in and out, and opposite for all you lefties

When you push your finger inside his ass, you are feeling upwards, so curl your finger up, like you’re in the matrix but with just one finger, push up all the way up to the last knuckle (do this slowly and build up)

You should feel an area that’s smooth and round like a Werthers original, you need to be constantly rubbing that area with your finger.

Whilst doing this you can either be sucking his cock, or stroking his cock, its entirely up to you – get your guy to lie back and enjoy!

Just remember when you pull your finger out, to go slow and low. once your man has cum he will be super sensitive so be gentle.

The great thing about the prostate is regular prostate massage reduces the risk of prostatitis, prostate cancer, genital pain, symptoms of erectile dysfunction and frequent night time urination. In addition, it improves overall erectile function and increases seminal fluid and circulation.

Hope that helps and good finger fucking!

Charlotte x

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