Dear Charlotte: I’m not getting satisfaction from intercourse with my boyfriend

Dear Charlotte

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years but I have noticed that in the last six months, sex has got quicker and quicker that I’m not getting any satisfaction when we have intercourse. We’ve tried to speak about it and I think that’s made the situation worse. What should I do?


Hi Sarah,

There are a few issues that we can discuss to find the cause to this issue.

It sounds like premature ejaculation/early ejaculation could be the case here but we need to try and find the exact time as to when things started changing within the bedroom.

Have a think about when you first noticed the issue, when was the first time you felt things might have been getting quicker.

99% of PE or EE issues are pschyological, but we must find the stem.

Try and recall if anything was ever mentioned in jest, as PE/EE can start from something as simple as a comment stating ‘taking too long’ or even just a sigh can cause doubt that the activity itself isn’t enjoyable

Sorry guys, who’s reading this but this is the acknowledgement that you are just as sensitive as us girlies despite trying to be strong all the time.

Your subconscious is just as fragile when it comes to confidence in the bedroom and this can play a massive part on your erection.

Sarah, what I suggest you do is sit down and talk to your partner about what is actually happening. Be honest but be kind, as your words can either be the boost he needs or a bigger kick in the teeth.

Sexual confidence is key to a happy healthy sex life, be open and share your likes and dislikes to help improve sexual chemistry.

Try new things, toys, different practices, different scenes, even role plays. Making sex fun is a fantastic way to explore each others deeper sexual sides.

I also want you to look at his day to day activities, sometimes daily tasks can impact on the quality of sex, through either stress, and / or exhaustion.

What are his moods like? is he eating a good quality diet, all these things can add up to a lack of sex drive that can quicken the process of orgasm

When you speak to each other be positive, be intimate and attentive towards each other, but try and get to the bottom of what’s upsetting or playing on his mind.

As soon as you can identify what the cause is, you can then resolve it, and make up sex is always the best.

Sarah, if you can make a start with this and then get back to me with your findings, I can put practices in place for you to get maximum benefit and enjoy a sex again even better than before.




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