Dear Charlotte: My girlfriend flinches when I go near her

Dear Charlotte,

My girlfriend says that when I finger her it’s painful, she says its that painful that she flinches every time I go near her, She then wont let me give her oral sex and it has really knocked my confidence.

I’ve tried to talk about it about it in detail but she shy’s away from telling me so I don’t understand what I am doing wrong, can you help?

Thanks Richard

Hi Richard

This can be a very tricky situation, as I need more details than this, so all I can do is give you 6 quick tips what you can try with your partner to make things more enjoyable

Tip 1

Is she wet?

If you put your fingers inside her vagina and she’s not wet, she will most likely become uncomfortable quite quickly. This is due to the vagina not aroused enough to create lubrication herself and will need additional moisture. An option could be to use a tube of lube or you could give her oral sex and make her wet that way. Either way she needs to be wet to get a smooth glide of the fingers, in a smooth in and out motion.

Tip 2

Need a manicure?

What would your finger nails say about you? Builder, mechanic, chippy? Sharp nails, rough hands can also feel painful! Can you imagine this feeling inside a dry vagina as well? Maybe this should be Tip 1

Tip 3

Did you ever want to be a Dj?

Trying to arouse the clit by using the DJ Technique (Grand master Flash style) shows a sign of lack of knowledge to the wonders of the vagina. by reading and experimenting new methods together can bring back fun and giggles to what could be no fun anymore because its so painful

Tip 4

Learn, Listen, Like & Lick

Research new techniques, try and listen to feedback, like to perfection and lick away

There is so much information on the web today to give you valuable information and techniques, with videos to help you. If you want to watch and learn different techniques, watch how both men and women use different style of oral sex with a woman

Tip 5

If your going in, go in!

Prodding your finger into the entrance of the vagina only irritates the urethra, yeah the wee hole! All this does is cause further irritation and more than likely cystitis…(burny wee) we dont like this!

If you’re going to go in, GO IN. And certainly not all at once, start small with one finger to start and build up if she’s ready, But remember, Tip 1 & 2

Tip 6

To achieve enjoyable oral with fingers follow Tips 1,2,3,4,5.

Hope that’s a starting point for your Richard, just remember the more open and honest you are in your relationship the better the sex, the stronger the connection, and then the more pleasure you’ll experience

Keep me posted

Charlotte x




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